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Erectus J. Maximus

[ website | MILLION DOLLAR MAN RULES!!!!!! ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

THIS IS THE PERMANANT TOP ENTRY FROM NOW ON ITS THE NEW RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [04 May 2010|11:18pm]
[ mood | IN 2099 WE VENGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]
[ music | The Venga Boys - We Like To Party ]

THIS IS A ATTEMPT TO STOP ALOT OF THE CRIME WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE OF MY JOURNAL!!!!!!! BASICALLY THIS ENTRY WILL BE IN THE FIRST SPOT BECAUSE ALOT OF TIMES PEOPLE COME INTO MY JOURNAL AND ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS MAKE JOKES ABOUT ME!!!!!!! ITS NOT A DAMN JOKE!!! SO IF I PUT THIS HERE PLUS I PUT A THING IN IT WHAT WILL TELL ME WHO YOU ARE YOU ARE GOING TO STOP IT BECAUSE I DON'T APPRECIATE IT AND MOST PEOPLE JUST COME HERE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO READ ABOUT MY LIFE WHAT IS INTRIGUING IT IS LIKE THAT REALITY SHOW WITH KELLY MONACO'S BREASTS!!!!!

BASICALLY I JUST WANT TO EXPLAIN THE TECHNOLOGY IN THIS THING AS I UNDERSTAND IT!!!!!! BASICALLY IF YOU TRY TO MAKE FUN OF ME OR SAY IF I SAY SOMETHING REAL PERSONAL ABOUT MY LIFE LIKE HOW THE ONE TIME I WANTED TO HAVE KIDS WITH A DOG, AND THEN IF YOU MAKE FUN OF ME ABOUT IT FOR NO REASON, THEN I WILL SEE YOUR STUPID E-MAIL ADDRESS AND ALSO IT WILL TELL ME YOUR DAD AND YOUR MOMS NAMES SO IF YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUGH BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN WE'LL SEE HOW TOUGH YOU ARE WHEN THEY GET A MYSTERIOUS E-MAIL FROM SOMEONE TELLING THEM WHAT A ROAD WARRIOR YOU THINK YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!

I SEE ALOT OF THE STUPID KIDS WHAT COME ON THE INTERNET "OMG LOL I M ON TEH INTARNATS!!!!!1111!!!!" I GET SICK OF THEM AND THEIR STUPID JOKES BECAUSE GUESS WHAT NO ONE THINKS ITS FUNNY JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID QUEEF SO JUST SHUT UP AND THE NEXT TIME I GET A IM FROM LILJOEJOE1991 CALLING ME A HOMOSEXUAL I WILL BEAT YOU LIKE SETH BULLOCK!!!! SO DON'T TRY ME CAUSE I'M PACKIN HEAT BABY!!!!

ALSO SINCE THIS IS STICKY IN THE TOP I AM MAKING A THING EXPLAINING THE NEW RULES!!!!!!!!!!

1) YOU CAN'T MAKE FUN OF ME FOR NO REASON!!!!
2) IF YOU MAKE TROUBLE I'M JUST GOING TO BOOT YOU!!!!!!!
3) NO TALKING ABOUT MOHAMMED IN MY JOURNAL!!!
4) 3!!! BECAUSE THIS IS A JESUS JOURNAL!!!!
5) 4!!! PLEASE CONTACT ME AT (703) ***-**** FOR DETAILS ABOUT MY PARTY THIS WEEKEND AND JUST TO TALK TO ME FOR A WHILE!!!!!


THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






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EDIT 8/10/06: SINCE PEOPLE DECIDED THIS IS GOING TO BE A WAR ZONE FOR THERE OWN PERSONAL WAR ZONES THEN I AM PUTTING THIS BACK AS THE MAIN TRACKER!!!! IF YOU GUYS CAN SHOW ME THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE THEN I WILL MAKE THE SMALL TRACKER THE TRACKER AGAIN!!!!!!

8 buttholes make fun of me!!!

WELL IS IT GONNA WORK THEN JUST PUT DOWN THEN OK!!!!! [15 Dec 2008|09:58pm]
[ mood | I RELIEVED MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]
[ music | Eric B. & Rakim - Paid In Full ]

THERE IS A REASON WHY I AM JUST CALLED THE REC-DADDY BY EVERYONE WHAT I KNOW!!!!! BECAUSE IF YOU JUST COME TO ME AND YOU THINK YOU ARE A HOT STUFF WHO JUST DOES HOT STUFFS THEN I WILL JUST MAKE YOUR FACE INTO WHAT A HOT POCKET IS!!!!!!!! THAT IS FOR ALL THE FAT KIDS IN WORLD OF WARCRAFT WHO JUST SAID "OH ERECTUS YOU RUINED OUR GUILD BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS YELL ON VOICE CHAT!!!!" WELL I CAN'T HELP IT SO IF YOU GUYS ARE JUST NERDS ON THE INTERNET THATS OK BECAUSE I AM THE COOLEST ONE I KNOW AND I AM COOL IN REAL LIFE NOT JUST WHEN I AM IN MY LEVEL 60 MOUNT WHAT I CAN'T GET CUZ WONT NOBODY TEAM WITH ME NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!

4 buttholes make fun of me!!!

FOR ALL THINGS THERE IS A TIME, A TIME TO RHYME, A TIME TO KICK A FUNKY LINE!!!!! [23 Apr 2008|09:03pm]
[ mood | EH, IT'S A LIVING!!!!!! ]
[ music | Duran Duran - Rio ]

A LONG TIME AGO WHEN IT WAS ALL THE RAGE TO MAKE COMICS IN LIVEJOURNAL I DECIDED TO MAKE A COMIC WHAT WILL BE THE ONLY ONE THAT REALLY HAS GOOD JOKES!!!! THE PROBLEM WITH COMICS IS THAT YOU CAN NOT RELATE TO NONE OF THEM!!! OH LOOK I AM FROM 1921 AND I AM A FLAPPER WOMAN RAISING A FAMILY THIS IS FUNNY AHHAHA!!! OR LOOK I AM A FRANK AND A EARL AND NOW I'M IN SPACE AHAHAHA!!!! I'M NOT A ROCKET MAN PAL SO HOW CAN I RELATE TO THIS SORT OF THING?!!!


EVERYONE WILL JUST MAKE A JOKE ON ME FOR THEIR OWN AMUSEMENT!!!

THEY WILL LEARN I AM NOT A JOKE FOR THEIR OWN JOKES!!!

I AM SORRY!!!
IT'S TOO LATE!!!!       !             !
I HATE A MONDAYS!!!!
20 buttholes make fun of me!!!

THEY CALL ME TED AND THE REASON IS BECAUSE I HAVE A SCREW ON MY HEAD!!!!!! IM SERIOUS!!!!!!!!! [05 Apr 2008|01:16am]
[ mood | ACTION TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]
[ music | Audio Two - Top Billin' ]

EVERY DAY THE STUPID PEOPLE WHAT LIVE IN MY TOWN TRY TO DO A "RICK ROLL" ON ME WHENEVER I GO TO THE DALE CITY COMMUNITY FORUMS!!!! THIS IS A DUMB THING WHICH MUST BE STOPPED AND FOR THIS REASON I AM MAKING A ERECTUS DOME COMMUNITY ACTION GROUP!!!! THE FIRST ONE WE ARE CLEANING UP IS DALE CITY MAYOR J. EPHRAIM CONNORS BECAUSE IF YOU GUYS REMEMBER I CLICKED ON A LINK WHICH HE POSTED WHAT SAID "OH LOOK EVERYBODY HERE IS ME IN A BRA AND ALSO LOTS OF EYE LINER SO PLEASE DON'T LOOK ERECTUS BECAUSE THIS WILL EMBARRASS ME!" THEN WHEN I CLICKED IT IT WAS JUST THAT STUPID SONG WHAT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE REASON WHY WE ARE NEVER GONNA GIVE UP ON KICKING BUTT AND TAKING NAMES IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE!!!!!!!!

5 buttholes make fun of me!!!

GET THE PAPER PLEASE I HAVE TO DO A SCHOOL REPORT FOR IT!!!!!!!!! [12 Jan 2008|03:16pm]
[ mood | BOUNCE WIT ME Y'ALL!!!!!!! ]
[ music | Paul McCartney & Wings - Jet ]

THIS IS A FRIENDLY NOTE FOR THE PEOPLE WHAT ARE AFFILIATES ON MY FRIENDS PAGE!!! I RUN A GOOD WEBSITE HERE AND I DON'T WANT IT TO JUST HAVE FILTH AND THIS TYPE OF THING!!!!! IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE NAKED IN YOUR PART OF THE WEBSITE OR YOU WILL JUST WEAR A PROVOCATIVE OUTFIT AND THINGS OF THIS NATURE THEN I WILL PULL THE PLUG ON YOU!!!! THIS IS A PLACE WHERE SURVIVORS CAN COME TOGETHER AND DISCUSS THE HARROWING EXPERIENCES WHAT HAPPEN EVERY DAY FOR PEOPLE LIKE US BECAUSE WE ARE ON AN ADVENTURE, BABY!!!!! SO DO NOT JUST SAY "OH LOOK MY SHIRT FELL OFF AND I HAVE A BREAST" ON YOUR WEBSITE BECAUSE THEN IF I GET IN TROUBLE WITH MY MOM I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS ANYMORE!!!

ALSO I HAVE MORE NEWS BECAUSE I AM LIKE A RESEARCHER I SCOUR WIKIPEDIA FOR ALL THE GOOD INFORMATION AND NOT JUST DUMB CRAP LIKE "JESSE CAMP IS A MTV NEWS MAN BLAH BLAH BLAH" THIS IS DUMB INFORMATION I DON'T USE THIS CRAP!!!! I FOUND THIS WEBSITE EVERYONE LOOK THIS GUY'S NAME IS SHERMAN BONER XD!!!!!!!!

5 buttholes make fun of me!!!

YEAH WHATEVER YOU DIDN'T EVEN WIN THAT MY UNCLE DID!!!!!!!!!! [02 Dec 2007|03:30pm]
[ mood | BUTTIFIED!!!! ]
[ music | High Five - Hard To Get ]

ROCK OF AGES: ROCK TRIVIA!!!!

THANK YOU TO [info]jeffreyatw FOR IMPLANTING THIS IDEA IN  MY HEAD, A LONG WITH MANY OTHER ONES BECAUSE HE ALWAYS MAKES A THING ON HIS LJ "OH LOOK I HAVE THIS AMAZING IDEA LET ME EXPOUND ON IT BECAUSE MY NAME IS INTERNET EINSTEIN XD" WHATEVER YOU CAN'T INFLUENCE ME BUT YOU DID THIS TIME ONLY BECAUSE I LET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY HERE IS A GAME WHAT I THOUGHT OF!!!! HERE ARE MANY ROCK AND ROLL ROCKING TUNES FROM 1967 TO 1999, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SONG IS?!!!! HMMM?!!! NO BECAUSE YOU ARE A BUTTMONSTROSAURUS, BUT I WILL GIVE YOU THE CHANCE TO PROVE YOURSELF IN THIS ENTRY!!!! ALL RESPONSES WILL BE SCREENED, AND I SHALT KEEP SCORE FOR YOU!!!!!






STEP UP TO THE PLATE, FATSO!!!!!

[info]jeffreyatw - 7.5
[info]basictheology - 17.5

ANSWER KEY:

1967: The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Foxy Lady
1968: Cream - White Room
1969: The Beatles - Polythene Pam
1970: David Bowie - The Man Who Sold The World
1971: Led Zeppelin - When The Levee Breaks
1972: Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes
1973: Pink Floyd - Any Colour You Like
1974: Sweet - Ballroom Blitz
1975: Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
1976: The Ramones - Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World
1977: Heart - Magic Man
1978: Cheap Trick - Surrender
1979: AC/DC - Highway To Hell
1980: Motorhead - Ace of Spades
1981: Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - I Love Rock and Roll
1982: Iron Maiden - Run To The Hills
1983: Dio - Holy Diver
1984: Van Halen - Hot For Teacher
1985: Dead Kennedys - MTV Get Off The Air
1986: Slayer - Raining Blood
1987: Guns N Roses - Welcome To The Jungle
1988: Danzig - Am I Demon
1989: Nine Inch Nails - Head Like A Hole
1990: Pixies - Rock Music
1991: Metallica - Enter Sandman
1992: Nirvana - Come As You Are
1993: Tool - Sober
1994: Soundgarden - Spoonman
1995: White Zombie - More Human Than Human
1996: Stone Temple Pilots - Big Bang Baby
1997: Blur - Song 2
1998: Garbage - Push It
1999: Godsmack - Voodoo
8 buttholes make fun of me!!!

YOU AIN'T GOT NOWHERE TO CALL YOUR OWN!!!!!!!! [12 Aug 2007|08:38pm]
[ mood | BUST A MENSTRTUAL FLOW!!!!!!!! ]
[ music | The Beatles - Because ]

I WAS READING MY OLD ENTRIES FROM BEFORE!!! BOY WAS I IMMATURE BACK THEN!!!!!!! THIS IS WHY FROM NOW ON I WILL ONLY EXPRESS HOW IT IS THAT I FEEL IN A MATURE FASHION!!!!

TODAY'S ENTRY!!! DIFFERENCE!!!

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND THE OTHER BOYS?!!! HMM THIS IS A FUNDAMENTAL THING WHAT I WILL THINK ABOUT EXTENSIVELY!!!! IS IT SOCIO-ECONOMICS?!!! HMM THIS IS A INTELLECTUAL THING WHAT SHOULD BE GIVEN THOUGHT!!!

PERHAPS IT IS IN THE WAY WE VIEW THE WORLD!!!! I VIEW THE WORLD IN A BETTER WAY DOES THIS MAKE ME A DIFFERENT TYPE OF PERSON?!!! HMM?!!!

HMM I HAVE DONE A LOT OF THINKING IN TODAY'S THOUGHT OF THE DAY!!!! PERHAPS WE WILL RETURN TO THIS THOUGHT ANOTHER DAY AND THEN WE WILL DO A EXAMINATION!!!!

THANK YOU FOR READING MY JOURNAL AND HAVE A ENLIGHTENED DAY!!!!

4 buttholes make fun of me!!!

HEAR YOUR VOICE EVERY TIME THAT I'M WALKIN'!!!! [05 Jul 2007|10:23am]
[ mood | TWIST THE KNIFE!!!! ]
[ music | Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid ]

IN A BRAND NEW SEGMENT WHAT I CALL ERECTUSS DOME POLITICAL ADVISOR I AM HERE NOW TO SUBMIT A NEWS ARTICLE FOR EVERYONE THAT I AM MAKING!!!

REFORMING IMMIGRATION, AND WINNING THE WAR!!!!

TODAY I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A NEW IDEA WHICH WILL SOLVE THE TWO BIGGEST PROBLEMS IN U.S. HISTORY!!!! MY NEW PLAN BASICALLY WILL CALL FOR REPLACING MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS WITH IRAQI IMMIGRANTS!!!! THIS WAY IF WE JUST CLEAR OUT A STATE WE'RE NOT REALLY USING LIKE NEBRASKA OR SOMETHING WE CAN MOVE THE IRAQIS THERE AND IT'S A LOT EASIER TO BEAT THEM IF THEY'RE IN THE MID-WEST THAN IF THEY'RE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!!!! WE CAN JUST MOVE THE HUSKERS TO IOWA!!!!!!
THIS IS  A GENIUS IDEA WHAT I BELIEVE WILL BE SHOT DOWN IN CONGRESS BECAUSE OF THE STUPID PARTISAN POLITICS ENACTED BY THE JERKS IN CITY HALL!!! I THINK THIS IS STUPID BECAUSE WE ALREADY DID THIS BEFORE LIKE WHEN WE BEAT THE ITALIANS IN WWII BY HAVING THE FBI BEAT UP THE ITALIANS IN NEW YORK!!!! IT WAS A WIN WIN FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE THEN THEY MADE THE GODFATHER!!!! OR WHEN WE PUT THE JAPANESE IN A PETTING ZOO OR SOMETHING!!!! PIKAAAACHUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

make fun of me!!!

OK SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THATS THE BOOK YOU WROTE, YEAH RIGHT!!!! [04 Jul 2007|07:44am]
[ mood | DISORDER!!! ]
[ music | The Beatles - Sort Of Stars And Stripes Forever But Not Really ]



USA FUN FACTS!!!!

TODAY THE MAIN PAGE ARTICLE ON WIKIPEDIA IS ABOUT SAMUEL ADAMS BECAUSE GOD LOVES THE USA SO MUCH HE MADE THE WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE ABOUT A TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT WHAT SAID "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!" THIS REMINDS OF THE FUNNY JOKE I MADE THAT TIME WHEN I SAID "GIVE ME THE LIBERTINES AND THEN I WILL GIVE MYSELF DEATH!!!" BECAUSE PETE DOHERTY IS A DRUGGIE LOSER!!!!!!

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE UNITED STATES THAT HE ACTUALLY SERVED AS A MEMBER OF THE 87TH HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, REPRESENTING VIRGINIA'S 11TH DISTRICT!!! HE FAILED IN A BID FOR A SECOND TERM WHEN HE INFAMOUSLY CAME OUT AGAINST THE SECOND AMENDMENT!!! THEM'S THE BREAKS, JESUS!!!!

STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER IS THE GREATEST TUNE IN HISTORY AND IT IS SO GREAT THAT THE BEATLES TRIED TO RIP IT OFF WHICH IS WHY THEY AREN'T IN THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME BECAUSE NO ONE WILL PUT UP WITH THAT CRAP, BUCKO!!!! IF YOU PLAY STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER AFTER EATING SPINACH YOU CAN BEAT UP ANYONE AND THIS IS A TRUE FACT SO DON'T SAY IT ISN'T BECAUSE I SAW IT ON TV IN A SHOW FROM BACK IN THE 30S WHEN THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SPECIAL EFFECTS BACK THEN SO HOW COULD THEY MAKE IT UP, HMMMMMM???!!!!

MANY PEOPLE HATE THE USA LIKE KURT COBANKS AND A LOT OF DUMB PEOPLE!!!! AMERICA IS THE COOLEST COUNTRY ON EARTH I KNOW BECAUSE THATS WHY 50 CENT HAD A AMERICAN FLAG ON HIS SHIRT, IF THIS IS NOT THE COOLEST COUNTRY THEN HOW COME 50 CENT HAD IT ON HIS SHIRT WHEN HE MAKES PROBABLY 60% OF HIS INCOME FROM BEING COOL?!!! THAT IS WHY THIS 4TH OF JULY I AM ONLY WAVING MY FLAG WITH SHADES ON!!!!

TODAY I GET TO WORK THE GRILL FOR A FEW MINUTES THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I AM EVER ALLOWED TO SO I WOULD LIKE TO SAY IF ANYONE TRIES TO DO SOMETHING WHICH WILL MAKE ME LOOK BAD BEHIND THE GRILL I WILL MESS THEM UP BIG TIME!!!!!! KISS THE CHEF'S KEISTER, BABY!!!!
1 butthole make fun of me!!!

THE FINAL FINALS I SWEAR!!!!! [02 Jul 2007|05:44pm]
[ mood | THIS IS IT!!! ]
[ music | The Ramones - 53rd and 3rd ]

RETURN OF KEVORKIAN!!!
TIE-BREAKER CHALLENGE!!!

GENTLEMAN: PROVIDE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!


MOHAMMED ASHA:
TERRORIST, OR FED-UP NERD!!!
7 buttholes make fun of me!!!

SUPERCATACLYSMIC CYTOPLASM!!!! [08 Jun 2007|03:24pm]
[ mood | ENTER THE DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!! ]
[ music | Starr Caliope - Hitting You In Stereo ]

RETURN OF KEVORKIAN
FINALS
VOTER BEWARE!!!

FINALLY WE COME TO THE FINALS OF THIS CONTEST WHAT HAS HEATED UP RECENTLY BECAUSE [info]brenly AND [info]crapjournal HAVE NOT TAKEN TOO KINDLY TO EACHOTHER!!!! OHH NOW THERE THERE WIDDLE GUYS!!! WILL YOU CHEER UP WHEN YOU'RE ENTERED INTO THE RETURN OF KEVORKIAN DEATH BY A MILLION PANAZOKOS 3000 FINALS!!!! YES!!!! THIS IS WHERE THE BIGGEST AND THE BRIGHTEST MINDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD COMPETE IN A TOURNAMENT WHERE THE STAKES ARE LIFE OR DEATH!!!!



THESE ARE THE FINALS!!!! REMEMBER YOU TAKE THE LIVES OF TWO MEN AND HOLD THEM IN YOUR HANDS!!!! THIS IS IT!!!
10 buttholes make fun of me!!!

NOW LEFT TO THE RIGHT, RIGHT TO THE LEFT, OK THATS GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!! [03 Jun 2007|06:52pm]
[ mood | FRESH!!!!!! ]
[ music | 2 Live Crew - D.K. Almighty ]

RETURN OF KEVORKIAN
SEMI-FINALS MATCH

COME VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE!!!!


BASICALLY I WAS GOING TO SAY OKAY TODAY WE HAVE A WINNER, BUT THEN I SAW THAT THERE WAS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A TOURNAMENT!!!! THROUGH SOME MANIPULATION OF THE RULES BASICALLY I HAVE DISQUALIFIED [info]cockblockoclock'S ENTRY!!!

THIS MEANS THAT [info]brenly HAS RECIEVED A BYE AND WILL AUTOMATICALLY GO ON TO THE FINALS!!!!!

THIS LEAVES [info]crapjournal to face off against [info]basictheology!!!!

BASICALLY THE BACKGROUND ON THESE GUYS IS THAT THEY BOTH HAD REGULAR CRAPPY JOURNALS THEN ONE DAY THEY SAID "LETS MAKE PHILOSOPHICAL CRAPPY JOURNALS!!!! THIS IS A DUMB THING BECAUSE I READ THEIR OLD JOURNALS BEFORE THEY MADE FUN OF ME AND BASICALLY IT WAS LIKE "OH WELL TODAY I CAN'T MAKE IT THROUGH A ENGLISH CLASS BECAUSE I HAVE A UNRESOLVED TEENAGE ANGST WHAT IS WHY I ONLY LISTEN TO LIKE NIRVANA MUSIC AND CRAP!!!!" THEN IN THEIR NEW JOURNAL THEY WILL WRITE "OH WELL TODAY THE BIRDS ARE FLYING WHY DO THEY FLY LIFE IS LIKE A FLYING BIRD BLAH BLAH BLAH AND THIS DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHY I CAN NOT MAKE IT THROUGH ENGLISH CLASS TODAY!!!" BUT WE ALL KNOW THATS A LIE BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE STUPID ENGLISH CLASS!!!! DID YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT MAYBE PEOPLE WITH REAL PROBLEMS?!!!! YOUR MOM IS NICE TO YOU AND PLUS YOU GOT TO GO TO BIRTHDAY PARTIES AND STUFF!!!! BUT THIS IS A PHILOSOPHICAL POINT WHICH THEY DON'T CONSIDER!!!!!
DESPITE THIS THEY BOTH APPLIED THEMSELVES AND CREATED TRUE LITERARY GEMS BECAUSE THEY STOPPED TRYING TO WRITE A BUNCH OF BLAH BLAH AND WRITE ABOUT THE STUFF PEOPLE WANT TO READ LIKE DETECTIVE STORIES WHICH IS WHAT I WRITE WHICH IS WHY EVERYONE SAYS "OH YEAH WE READ THE ERECTUS DOME IT HAS THE NEWS AND THE VIEWS WE CAN USE!!!" LETS SEE THEIR WORK WHAT IS ALSO WORTHY OF A CABLE ACE AWARD!!!!

BE SURE TO VOTE FOR THE WINNER BOTH OF THESE AMAZING COMPETITORS HAVE GIVEN THEIR ALL FOR THE ERECTUS DOME WHICH MEANS THEY ARE OFFICIALLY OFF THE BUTTHOLE LIST, WAY TO GO GUYS!!!!
6 buttholes make fun of me!!!

WHERES THE MAYONAISE!!! OK PASS IT BACK OVER NOW!!!!!!!! [28 May 2007|07:14am]
[ mood | BUTTITY!!! ]
[ music | Taana Gardner - Heartbeat ]

ERECTUS RUMORS!!!:THE RUMOR WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING IS THAT THE PRODUCERS OF THE NEW FILM 'KNOCKED UP' PUT OUT A CASTING CALL FOR A 'RYAN CHESSMAN TYPE' WHILE NEVER CONSIDERING RYAN CHESSMAN HIMSELF!!! WE EXPECT TO HEAR FROM RYAN CHESSMAN IN THE COMMENTS WHEN HE WILL SHOW UP AND SAY "OH I DIDN'T GET THE JOB BECAUSE I WAS WORKING AT COMEDY LAND" OR WHAT EVER STUPID EXCUSE HE WILL TRY TO MAKE UP FOR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING TURNED DOWN FOR THE ROLE OF RYAN CHESSMAN!!!
THE OPINION OF THIS COLUMNIST?!!!
BASICALLY JESUS IS SAYING THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SMOKE A WEED YOU BUTTHIPPIE!!!!!!!


I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT WE ARE STILL HAVING THE ERECTUS T. MACMILLAN - SPACE DETECTIVE CONTEST HERE!!! IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO ENTER SO GET TO WRITING AWAY!!!!

make fun of me!!!

IF YOU GET THAT FEELING THEN RUN IT ON THROUGH!!!!!! [27 May 2007|01:02pm]
[ mood | ARE YOU FRICKIN KIDDING ME!!!! ]
[ music | Darude - Sandstorm ]

1200 HOURS SPACE TIME!!!
ALRIGHT I'LL BE RIGHT OVER!!!

BASICALLY IN THE YEAR 2007 DR. JACK KEVORKIAN ESCAPED
FROM THE SUPER PRISON ON WARBULON-VII!!!
THE KEVORKIAN ORGANIZATION IS NOW HARD
AT WORK ON THE ULTIMATE DEATH MACHINE:
THANATRON II!!!

RETURN OF KEVORKIAN!!!
FROM THE FILES OF:
ERECTUS T. MACMILLAN - SPACE DETECTIVE


HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF
            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF
HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF
            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF            HUFF
              I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT!!!


"KEEP MOVING, THOMPSON!!!" ANY DAY I WAS HARD ON THOMPSON, BUT TODAY
I WAS PARTICULARLY HARD ON HIM!!! AS WE ENTERED THIS ABANDONED
FACTORY I COULD SEE JACK KEVORKIAN'S COLD EYES WATCHING, WAITING!!!

STALKING THROUGH THE DARK FACTORY I COULD FEEL HIM AROUND EVERY
CORNER!!! UP EVERY FLIGHT OF STAIRS!!! I GREW MORE IMPATIENT WITH THE
DARKNESS, AND THE GAMES!!! "JACK!!!" I CALLED OUT!!! "JACK!!" I YELLED ONCE
MORE!!!


"JACK!!!"


THE FACTORY BECAME AWASH IN LIGHT!!! THOMPSON AND I STOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF A LARGE STAIRWAY LEADING TO THE TOP FLOOR OF THE FACTORY!!! LOOMING IN FULL GRANDEUR, RISING FROM THE FACTORY GROUNDS TO THE CEILING WAS THANATRON II!!! SUPPORTED BY MACHINERY OF SOLID CHROME THE MASS OF IT WAS FILLED WITH A LUSH GREEN SUBSTANCE ENCASED IN A THICK GLASS SHELL!!!

SHIT!!!
A BEAM, COMPRISED SEEMINGLY OF BOTH
LIQUID AND LIGHT,  FIRED ON US, STRIKING
THOMPSON DIRECTLY!!! HIS DRIED BRITTLE
CORPSE FALLING OVER THE SIDE RAILING!!!


CHALLENGE!!!:
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE
ALL THE ACTION OF
ERECTUS T. MACMILLAN - SPACE DETECTIVE!!!
FROM 5/27/07
THROUGH 6/02/07
YOU
DECIDE WHAT YOU
WOULD LIKE TO SEE
HAPPEN NEXT!!!


JUST WRITE IN YOUR ENTRIES IN THE COMMENTS OF THIS ENTRY!!!
THE BEST WILL BE PERSONALLY SELECTED BY ME AND THEN
I WILL GIVE YOU A SPECIAL CLUB CARD AND POST
YOUR ENTRY RIGHT HERE!!!!!

NOW YOU'RE IN CONTROL
OF THE ERECTUS DOME!!!
18 buttholes make fun of me!!!

WELL BILLY WE CAN TRY BUT I AIN'T GETTIN ANY YOUNGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [14 May 2007|06:02am]
[ mood | WHO IS AFRAID OF THE BIG!!!!! ]
[ music | Notorious B.I.G. - Big Poppa ]

I GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE I MADE A CAKE BUT THEN I DIDN'T READ THE STUPID INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE I AM MAD MY MOM IS ALWAYS GIVING ME INSTRUCTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT AND NO BOX IS GOING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!

HELP ME TO RAISE MONEY BECAUSE I NEED IT TO BUY MAPLE STORY FOR THE DS AND MY MOM SAYS I CAN'T BUY IT JUST BECAUSE I WAS CURSING AT THE STUPID FOREIGN KIDS INSIDE THE GAME!!!!!! HOW WILL IT FEEL WHEN I AM SLASHING AND STABBING YOU LITTLE MONSTERS IN A CONVENIENT ON THE GO FORM?!!!! IT WON'T FEEL TOO NICE BUTT LICKERS!!!! ^___________________________________^!!!!!!

14 buttholes make fun of me!!!

EVERYDAY I WAKE UP AND I ASK MYSELF WHY!!! WHY WILL BUTTHOLES NOT DIE!!!!!!!! [21 Mar 2007|05:55am]
[ mood | I JUST WANT TO BE WELL!!!! ]
[ music | Trick Daddy - Nann Nigga ]

A WORLD WITHOUT BUTTHOLES!!!
WE LIVE IN A WORLD WITH GOALS!!!
WE LIVE IN A WORLD WITH MOLES!!!
WE LIVE IN A WORLD WITH MANUTE BOLS!!!
BUT WHY DO WE LIVE IN A WORLD WITH BUTTHOLES?!!

I SEARCHED DOWN BY THE MALLS!!!
WHERE BUTTHOLES PEE ON TOILET STALLS!!!
I SEARCHED UP AND DOWN THE HALLS!!!
AND GOT NO ANSWERS FROM BUTTHOLE MARKINGS ON THE WALLS!!!

MAYBE IT IS TIME I DO A SEARCH WHERE FANCIES FREE!!!
MAYBE IT IS TIME I DO A SEARCH WHERE PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO PEE!!!
MAYBE THIS SEARCH HAS BEGUN TO TAKE TOLLS!!!
BECAUSE I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY I LIVE IN A WORLD WITH BUTTHOLES!!!

THEY THROW AT ME ROCKS!!!
THEY MAKE FUN OF MY SOCKS!!!
EVERY THING I SAY THEY MOCK!!!
I HOPE THEY CHOKE ON A HAM HOCK!!!

WE LIVE IN A WORLD WITH KOHL'S!!!!
WE LIVE IN A WORLD WITH FOALS!!!
WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF BEYONCE KNOWLES!!!
I JUST WANT A WORLD WITHOUT BUTTHOLES!!!


THIS IS MY POEM WHICH I WROTE AND WHICH WOULD HAVE WON FIRST PLACE BUT THEN STUPID BEATRICE MESTERPOOL HAD TO WRITE A DUMB POEM ABOUT BUTTERFLIES OR SOME KIND OF CRAP!!!! I THINK IT IS DUMB THE JUDGE PANEL WILL ONLY ACCEPT KITSCH OVER REAL ART WHAT I LABORED ON FOR PROBABLY YEARS JUST TO MAKE!!!! THIS IS WHY I AM NOT THE NEW BEETHOVEN BECAUSE THEY RUINED IT SO BLAME THEM FOR THE REASON I DIDN'T INVENT THE MOONLIGHT SONATA YET!!!!!!!

SINCERELY,
ERECTUS PLAIN AND TALL!!!
THE NEW POET LAUREATE OF AMERICA!!!!

19 buttholes make fun of me!!!

TOUCHING FAMILIES!!! TOUCHING LIVES!!!! DON'T TOUCH ME CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [18 Feb 2007|06:54pm]
[ mood | CALMLY AWAITING YOUR REPLY!!!! ]
[ music | NaS - The Message ]

DEAR LIVEJOURNALERS!!!

I SIGNED UP FOR HANDICAP PARKING AND BASICALLY I SAID THAT I AM AUTISTIC NOW EVERYONE IS ANGRY AND CALLING ME A FRAUD JUST BECAUSE I SAID ONE STUPID THING!!!

I WANT TO KNOW WILL EVERYONE GET OFF OF MY CASE IF I JUST SAY I HAVE AN ACCENT WHICH IS WHY I SPELLED ARTISTIC AS AUTISTIC?!!! WILL THEY KISS MY BUTT IF I SAY FOR THEM TO GO TO HELL?!!!!!

7 buttholes make fun of me!!!

ERECTUS NEWS SERVICE UPDATE: IF YOU COULD PLEASE GET ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND MOVE YOUR BUTT!!!!!!!!!! [14 Dec 2006|01:31am]
[ mood | GLAD I GOT MY EARS IN TACT!!!! ]
[ music | The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps ]

RECENTLY ON MY SO CALLED "FRIENDS" PAGE THIS WAS POSTED!!!!

I AM SICK OF EVERYONE WHO WILL JUST TRY TO USE MY FRIENDS PAGE TO LAUNCH A SECRET JOKE AT ME!!!! SO WHAT, THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!!! WELL I AM SAYING IT BECAUSE IT IS THE TRUTH AND I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO ADDRESS ALL THE STUPID COMMENTS I WILL RECEIVE BY THIS BECAUSE EVERYBODY WHAT READS THE INTERNET IS STUPID!!!!

"OH HAHAHAHAAAA EREC YOU HAVE A CYBER GIRLFRIEND YOU CAN'T BE A REAL MAN AND GET A GIRL AT THE FALL FARMER'S FESTIVAL LIKE A REAL MAN!!! A HAHAHAHAHA"

THAT ISN'T EVEN TRUE YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE A STUPID ASSUMPTION FOR NO DUMB REASON, THIS IS WHY THERE IS WAR!!! DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?!!! NO BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A WAR MONGER AND I WILL MAKE WAR ON YOUR SPLEEN WITH MY KNIFE IF YOU KEEP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!!

"OH HAHAHAHAAAA EREC I SAW YOU IN THE CHIPOTLE WITH YOUR LAPTOP!!! WERE YOU IN A DATE?!!!"

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HEAR FROM EVERYONE IN MY TOWN BECAUSE EVERYONE IN MY TOWN IS A STUPID YOKEL WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND THE TECHNOLOGY FROM THE FUTURE!!! YES THIS IS A DATE BUT IT EVEN SAYS IN THE WASHINGTON POST STYLE SECTION THAT THIS IS THE DATING OF THE FUTURE HOW IT WILL BE DOWN, SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WELL THEN I GUESS YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BOB WOODWARD!!! AND THEN THAT MEANS YOU SUPPORT WATERGATE!!! SO THAT MEANS YOU WILL GO TO JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"OH HAHAHAHAAAA EREC HOW WILL YOU EVEN HAVE CHILDREN WITH YOUR DIGI-GIRLFRIEND?!!!!!"


WE CAN'T GET MARRIED BECAUSE WE ARE IN TWO SEPARATE FAITHS!!!! THIS IS ABOUT MATURE SEXUAL EXPLORATION BETWEEN TWO CONSENTING ADULTS!!!! IT IS TOO BAD ALL THE PEOPLE WHAT READ MY JOURNAL ARE TOO STUPID AND IMMATURE TO UNDERSTAND THIS POINT!!!!

"OH HAHAHAHAAAA EREC YOU ARE A VIRGIN AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE SEX WITH YOUR STUPID CYBER GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!"

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS WHY I AM WRITING A POEM ABOUT THIS TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS AND MY FRUSTRATION, SO 1 2 3 AND TO THE FO' EREC DOGGITY DOGG IS ON THE FLO'!!!!


DARK CLOUDS!!!
A CIRCLING OVER TOP OF MY HEAD!!!
I AM THE HARBINGER OF DOOM!!!!
WHEN I WILL GET ANGRY AT EVERYONE!!!!
THEY WILL ALL FALL BEFORE THE!!!
MYSTICAL BLACK GOBLET!!!!
COME TO THE LAKE!!!!
FEEL THE WRATH OF MINE!!!
I AM THE MONSTER OF YOUR WHOLE LIFE!!!
THE ONE WHO MAKES YOU HATE YOUR LIFE!!!!
THE ONE WHO WILL HIT YOU WITH A KNIFE!!!!
SO LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY LOVE!!!!!
SHE IS THE DARK LORDESS KARI!!!!
RULER OF TAMBAGOTESIA!!!!
TOGETHER WE ARE THE YIN!!!
AND TOGETHER WE ARE THE YANG!!!!
SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!!!!

11 buttholes make fun of me!!!

DID YOU SEE LYLE?!!! YEA HE STILL HAS THAT FACE!!!! [02 Dec 2006|05:29am]
[ mood | THIS DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH ME! ]
[ music | Parappa the Rapper - Chop Chop Master Onion ]

I WANT TO KNOW WHY HOW COME IT IS THAT WHEN I GO TO THE FASHION BARN THEY ALWAYS NEVER GREET ME WHEN I ENTER!!!!!!! I ALWAYS GO THERE AND I ENTER THERE AND THEY DON'T SAY NOTHING!!!!!! I WANT TO KNOW WHY THAT IS!!!!!!!

YOU KNOW WHY I THINK IT IS?!!!!! BECAUSE REMEMBER THE ONE TIME I WENT TO SULLY'S STEAK HOUSE AND THEN I MADE A SCENE, WELL IT TURNS OUT THAT SULLY'S STUPID SON OWNS FASHION BARN!!!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO BUY A WHITE BELT SO THAT I CAN FIT IN DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!

3 buttholes make fun of me!!!

SUPERFLY ESSOROCKER!!! [09 Nov 2006|12:36am]
[ mood | PRETTY GOOD SHOW!!! ]
[ music | Milli Vanillie - Blame It On The Rain ]

I FEEL THAT NOW BECAUSE I AM A SUCCESS ON LIVEJOURNAL IT IS MY DUTY TO HELP BREAK NEW TALENTS INTO THE MAINSTREAM OF LIVEJOURNAL!!! TONIGHT I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A GUY WHO'S BEEN TEARING UP AIM AND NOW HE'S COMING TO LJ!!! HIS NAME IS STEWART WALTHEIM AND I WANT YOU TO GET A SAMPLING OF HIS TALENT RIGHT HERE!!!!

Dick Turpin Jr: heard you been talkin smack on me man
phoozum: who is this?
Dick Turpin Jr: this is JT
Dick Turpin Jr: I got an ear ring
phoozum: I don't know anyone named JT...
Dick Turpin Jr: WHATS YOUR PROBLEM MAN
phoozum: and I know a lot of people wiht ear rings...
Dick Turpin Jr: YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK BUT YOU DON'T WANNA SAY IT WHEN I'M IN YOUR FACE
Dick Turpin Jr: BECAUSE I'M A LEAN MEAN KILLING MACHINE
phoozum: ...
Dick Turpin Jr: thats what I thought punk
Dick Turpin Jr: I see you at the rec center
Dick Turpin Jr: you're dead meat
Dick Turpin Jr: GOT ME BUSTER
phoozum: what??
Dick Turpin Jr: DEAD
phoozum: uh who do you think I am
Dick Turpin Jr: ohhh
Dick Turpin Jr: those are big words CHUMP
phoozum: haha wow... whoever you are I'm not amused by your prank
Dick Turpin Jr: I'M NOT AMUSED WHEN I'M DRY HUMPING MY GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR CIRCLING THE BASEBALL FIELD CALLING ME A FAG
phoozum: wtf? first off I'd never do something like that considering I'm a lesbian, second I still have no idea who you are
Dick Turpin Jr: oh i'm sorry
Dick Turpin Jr: is this Les?
phoozum: Les?
phoozum: like a guy named Les?
Dick Turpin Jr: Lester MacNamera?
phoozum: no... my name is Phoebe
Dick Turpin Jr: oh crap
phoozum: where did you get my screen name
Dick Turpin Jr: I'm so sorry
Dick Turpin Jr: wrong number
phoozum: don't worry about it... I hope stuff gets sorted out peacefully--but where did you get my screen name?


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dick Turpin Jr: well look who it is
flyinpenguinsroc: whos this
Dick Turpin Jr: its Terrance
Dick Turpin Jr: and you're history
Dick Turpin Jr: didn't think I'd find ya huh punk?
flyinpenguinsroc: ok
Dick Turpin Jr: I'm in my house watchin the fireworks
Dick Turpin Jr: you drive on my lawn and throw beers at my window
Dick Turpin Jr: I'D HAVE KICKED YOUR ASS CEPT I WAS GROUNDED
Dick Turpin Jr: YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE PAL
flyinpenguinsroc: rofl
flyinpenguinsroc: wtf
Dick Turpin Jr: AIN'T GONNA BE SO FUNNY WHEN THE SUPERFLY ESSOROCKER IS STOMPIN YOUR ASS MAN
flyinpenguinsroc: huh
Dick Turpin Jr: what are you talking about HUH?
flyinpenguinsroc: i like your sn
flyinpenguinsroc: its classy
Dick Turpin Jr: really you're down with the gentleman highwayman?
Dick Turpin Jr: hey thats awesome
flyinpenguinsroc: lol
Dick Turpin Jr: LISTEN I GOTTA GO BUT IT WAS GOOD TALKING TO YOU, THAT WAS HILARIOUS WHEN YOU GUYS THREW BEER AT MY HOUSE YOU GUYS GOT MY GRANDMA RIGHT IN HER HEAD

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dick Turpin Jr: hey is your refridgerator running?
MySaviourLove: who is this?
Dick Turpin Jr: Toby
MySaviourLove: do I know you?
Dick Turpin Jr: Yeah we went to senior prom
Dick Turpin Jr: 1978
Dick Turpin Jr: my HOW TIME HAS PASSED
Dick Turpin Jr: YOU NEVER EVEN CALLED ME
MySaviourLove: who the heck is this?
Dick Turpin Jr: NO THE QUESTION IS WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Dick Turpin Jr: MY MOM HAD TO DRIVE ME HOME
Dick Turpin Jr: I WAS THE LAUGHING STOCK OF BEAVERTON HIGH SCHOOL I CAN'T EVEN GO BACK FOR MY REUNON
MySaviourLove: sorry, your underarms smelled badly
Dick Turpin Jr: Really?
MySaviourLove: yes
Dick Turpin Jr: oh sorry about that
Dick Turpin Jr: thanks for clearing that up though
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHAT A TALENT FOLKS!!!!

3 buttholes make fun of me!!!

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